Are you entitled to assistance? It's important to know about, and take advantage of, the assistance to which you're entitled. For example, if your husband has just died, your children should receive a social security check each month until they turn 18. In addition, you should receive social security benefits as the parent caring for your deceased husband's child. There is other assistance to which you may be entitled, depending upon your income, even if you are not a widow. Benefits vary by state, but typically include, housing allotments, food stamps and reduced cost day care. Your school age child may also qualify for free or reduced cost school lunches as well as reduced cost health care insurance. Check with your state's Department of Social Services to find out what benefits are available in your state and what you qualify to receive. In addition, look at the assistance that may be available in your community. Local churches and civic organizations may have programs that benefit you. For example, some churches with day care and preschool programs offer scholarships. You may be able to get reduced cost day care for your child by qualifying for such a scholarship.
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Can you work all or part of your day from home? Telecommuting has become a very common practice. You might be able to eliminate after school care altogether by either working from home all day or by working from home in the late afternoon so that you are home with your children after school. Can you reduce your housing costs? Housing is usually the most expensive item in your monthly budget. Consider a move if it will significantly cut costs. Of course, there are other things to consider besides just the cost of your housing. You may want to ensure that you stay in the same school district, or that you are live close to your office.
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DAY 6 - HAVE A HEART TO HEART TALK It's time to take a look at how your children are feeling and how they're dealing with their situation. You may have made some significant changes recently; changes in their family structure, their living situation, their social life, even their school may have changed. Plan a family meeting with your child or children. Set up a time to meet with them in a relaxed atmosphere so that you can honestly talk about your new life, with all its changes. There may be painful moments in this conversation, and there may be moments when you all recognize joy in your new situation. Here are some sample questions you might pose to your children. *What change have we gone through recently that has had the most impact on your life? *What's the thing you miss most about our old life? *What's the thing you like most about our new life? *What's the thing you like least about our new life? *Do you miss anyone that you'd like us to keep in better contact with? *Do you sometimes feel scared about us living without Dad? *Are there other things going on that scare you or make you worry? *How do you think our life will change over the next year? Do you think we're finished with major changes for a while? *What can we do to make ourselves a closer family? *What can we do to have more fun together? *What can I do to be a better Mom? *What can you do to make our family life better? *Is there anything you've wanted to ask me, but have been afraid? You may think of more questions that more appropriately address your particular family situation. The point of this exercise is to draw your children out and find out what's on their minds. You may find, for instance, that they're really missing a particular friend from your old neighborhood, and that a play date with that child would be a real treat. You may find, if your husband has passed away, that your child worries that you might die, too. All kinds of underlying fears may come to light as you ask these questions. Once you've assembled your children's answers, you can appropriately address the issues at hand, and reassure your children that their lives are safe and secure and that you're doing everything in your power to make the best life you possibly can.
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How Others View Your Status: Single parents are fairly commonplace today. So, most people you encounter will not be surprised about a woman raising children alone, and most will not judge you negatively because of it. The biggest concern that others have about a single parent often comes from what I mentioned above- the way you feel about your status. If you constantly come off as overwhelmed, people may feel as though you're having difficulty managing the load. This is ok occasionally, because the truth is that all parents, married and single, feel frazzled and overwhelmed from time to time. But, if this is how you always seem - then people may wonder if you're up for the challenge. Keeping a positive attitude about what you're doing helps you feel more confident about it, and others can sense your confidence. Now, I don't mean to make it sound like you need to put up a front. We all have challenges, and we all need help sometimes. If you're new at single parenting, and especially if it has been rapidly thrust upon you, you need someone to talk to. Networking with other parents, particularly other single parents can help you solve problems and vent when you need it. If you occasionally run across the individual who seems to look down on single parents, it's best to just ignore them and move on. Their problem is just that - their problem - and will only affect you if you allow it.
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3 Raising Your Child on Your Income: There's no question about it - one of the most difficult aspects of raising a child alone is financial. It's time to get real about your finances and find out how (and if) you can take care of your family on the money that currently comes in each month. Here are some things to think about. Getting a Handle on Your Expenses: You need to know how much you're spending each month, so that you can determine if you have enough. Make a list of every monthly expense your family incurs so that you have a realistic picture of your household expenses. *Housing - Is your current housing affordable for you on your income? Is your current housing something you can maintain on your own? For example, if you've just gone through a divorce or death, you may want to keep the house you shared with your ex. But, you need to take a hard look at whether or not that's reasonable. Can you afford it? Do you want to keep up with all the home maintenance and yard work that will be required? Would it be less expensive and less work to move to a townhouse with a small yard and little maintenance? *Child Care Expenses - If you weren't working before, but now find yourself going back into the workforce, childcare may be a new expense for you. You'll need reliable childcare that works with your work schedule - including availability during odd hours if that's how you work. *Car expenses - If you have a big car payment, you may need to think about downsizing your vehicle. New, expensive cars can be costly, between the monthly car payment and the insurance. Sometimes just scaling back to a slightly older model can save a lot of money. In addition, consider carpooling. Sharing transportation can reduce your monthly fuel costs significantly. *Other bills - Get out all of your bills and take stock. Are there some expenses you can get rid of now? Maybe that cable bill is more than you can afford. Do you really know how much you spend each month on groceries? Look for ways to cut costs and be sure that you know exactly where your money goes each month. Once you've taken a good hard look at your expenses, compare it to your income. Do they match up? If they don't, here are some things to consider.
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7 Improving Your Life Through Education: You may be wondering how you can continue making improvements in your life, so that you can create a better living situation for you and your children. One of the best things you can do to make a positive improvement in your life today and for the future is to continue your education. Whether you haven't completed your bachelor's degree, or you have seen others in your field get promotions because they held a master's degree, continued education can be a great way to get ahead. Here are some things to think about when considering pursuing additional education. Can More Education Really Improve My Life? Well, the simple answer is "yes". There are many reasons why pursuing additional education can improve the quality of life for you and your family. Returning to school as an adult is a growing trend. One particularly interesting study on this trend, called "Degrees of Opportunity", says that more than half of all adults want more education. Many of these students are pursuing education past the age of 25, after having families and while holding down a full time job. And, even with all the effort it requires, this study showed that these adult students believe their time was well worth the effort. In fact, 50% of the people who have pursued further education after entering the workforce wish they'd done it sooner. And, adult students are more likely to finish what they've started. According to this study, nearly three out of four adults who returned to school after the age of 25 said they have either completed their educational pursuit or are still in process of pursuing it.
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Reducing other Expenses There are lots of ways to reduce your other expenses. You just have to be creative. Here are some tips. *Join a warehouse club - You can save lots of money by joining a warehouse club and buying in bulk. Many of the regular grocery items your family uses every day are far less expensive at warehouse clubs than at the grocery. *Do you really need the convenience foods? Convenience foods are just that - convenient. And, they can be a lifesaver for a woman who's been at work all day and needs to make a quick dinner. But, they're quite a bit more expensive. Grating your own cheese and tearing your own lettuce can save you money at the grocery. *Check out consignment sales- Many civic organizations and churches have children's clothing consignment sales each spring and fall. These are a great way to buy clothing for your children. Most of the organizations that host these sales are very particular about the clothes they accept. You'll find deeply discounted prices on clothes that have hardly been worn. Selling the clothes your children have outgrown at these sales can be a great way to earn some extra cash, too. *Shop Smart - One of the things that can really put a dent in your budget is clothing. Children seem to outgrow theirs so quickly that it's nearly always time to shop. But, if you schedule your shopping, you can be both more financially prepared to spend the money, and you can take advantage of sales. For example, we live in a fairly warm climate. My children can wear their summer clothes into mid October most of the time. So, I don't participate in that mad rush called "back to school shopping" just because it's back to school time. I wait for the best sales and then buy fall clothing. I buy enough to get them through until Christmas, because I know that many of their aunts and uncles will give them clothing for Christmas. All of my children have spring birthdays; so much of their summer wardrobe comes in the form of birthday presents. I fill in the rest by looking for really great sales and consignment shopping. When I see a really fantastic deal - something like good school shoes for $8 - I buy two pair - one in the size my child wears now and one in the next size up. *Swap Babysitting - Babysitting is often a financial obstacle to having a social life. One way to solve this issue is to swap babysitting services with friends who also have small children. You can watch their kids on a Saturday night for them to go out; the next weekend they can return the favour. *Look for other things you can swap - Be creative. You can often trade things with other parents to help cut costs. One great example is Halloween costumes. Costumes are sized so that they'll fit a child for two or three years. But, often kids don't want to dress up as the same character two years in a row. So, why arrange for your child and a friend to swap their costumes from last year. Each child gets a new costume to wear and no one spends any money.
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How can you minimize child care expenses? Child care is often a huge chunk of your monthly expenses. Coming up with alternatives to traditional child care can save you a bundle. Consider these options: *Instead of a traditional after school day care program, is there a stay at home mom in your neighbourhood who would watch your children after school? She might be thrilled to get the extra money and would likely charge you far less than you'd pay a day care facility. Plus, if you're running a tad late one day, she would likely be more flexible. In addition, some public schools have after school programs right on premises. Not only will your child receive homework help from teachers, but the costs are typically much lower than at a traditional day care after school program. *If your child is preschool age, you may also be able to find a stay at home mom or a retired person who will provide in home day care for your child. You never know until you ask.
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Making Preparations for the Unexpected: Now that you're a single parent, it's very important for you to have your "affairs in order" as the saying goes. Here are some things to consider: *Do you have a will? *Who will take care of your children in case of your death? *Do you have plans for your childrens' education? *Do you have appropriate life insurance? *Do you have life insurance on your children? Do you need it? *Do you have any required protective orders in place? *If your ex is not allowed to have contact with your children, are all the appropriate people aware?
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DAY 2 - GET OUT THE BILLS: In order to get control of your life, it's critical to understand your financial situation. Particularly if your partner handled the finances in the past, you need to get a good handle on things for yourself. Here are some things you should look at. *Your mortgage or rent - If you own your home, how much do you owe on the mortgage? What is the monthly payment? Do you have a home equity line? If you're renting, how much is your rent payment? How much longer do you have on your lease? *Your car- How much do you owe on your car? How much is the monthly payment? When will it be paid off? How much are insurance payments? Do you pay insurance monthly? *Utilities - How much are your utilities on an average month? Be sure to include water and sewer, garbage collection, gas, phone, electric and cable. *Child Care - Are you currently paying for child care? If so, how much does your monthly childcare cost? *Credit Cards - How much do you own in credit card debt? If you add up your minimum monthly payments on each card, how much will you spend each month paying credit cards? *Other bills - Do you have other expenses? Look out for other loans or regular monthly expenses you may not have thought of. This can include gym memberships, book clubs, etc. It can be helpful to make a note of any expenses that you consider unnecessary. *Savings - Are you accustomed to putting a regular amount in savings each month? If so, figure this into your monthly expenses. Tally it all up. These are your basic expenses for the month. Keep in mind that this doesn't include miscellaneous expenses like groceries, gas, and spending money. If you have an idea of how much you spend in these areas make a note of it. You'll need to know all of your expenses in order to figure out your total financial picture.
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